Life's Not Fair

We human beings are big thinkers and even bigger judges.

We categorize, classify, pigeonhole, and compartmentalize so that everything fits into neat little packages informing us of what is just and what is unjust. We find it frightening or almost impossible, as Martin Luther King, Jr once said, "to become tough-minded enough to break loose from the shackles of prejudice, half-truths, and downright ignorance" because to do so would expose the truth that life's not fair. And we desperately want to believe that it is. There is an element of arrogance in such hope, because it assumes that things are supposed to work out and the 'game' is to be played by one unique set of rules. This is a setup for bitter disappointment.

My grandchildren are at a stage where they're trying to figure out what's fair and what isn't. The second grader has pretty clear thoughts on the matter. She doesn't like it when one kid is praised and another is not. It bothers her that one person has a lot of comforts and others are homeless.

The kindergartener's idea of fairness is still rather limited as to whether things tilt to her benefit or not. They are both developing the way they should. But as they tell us what is unfair, it strikes me that my own notions of fairness have changed quite a bit over time.

When I was thirteen, President Kennedy was assassinated. My grief that such a good man could be taken away was overwhelming. This was so senseless and unfair. It became obvious to me that people were capable of gross injustice. Jews had been exterminated in concentration camps. One race of people had been almost wiped out and another enslaved in this country for no reason other than greed or economic advantage. I was indignant about such things. And remain so...but with a twist.

I have come to believe that if something reeks of injustice, the only way to get rid of the smell is to do something about it. It is my responsibility to 'do the next right thing' rather than gripe and complain. I also arrived at the conclusion that I don't necessarily have the answers as to what is fair.

Dr. King, as well as others, told us that the arc of the moral universe is long, but that it bends toward justice. While it may appear that life has been overly generous to some and very stingy with others, there is a power greater than ourselves nudging us in the right direction. I can say with certainty that God does not abandon us.

What seems awful and unfair right now might just be a course correction leading to what God intended for us in the first place. Perhaps it's all as simple as the Golden Rule. But even more fundamental is the certainty that if each and every one of our actions is grounded in love we’ll have done God's work. At that point we will be able to say that while life might not always seem fair, it is wonderful nonetheless.

Finding Joy in Tempestuous Times

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. ~ Howard Thurmann

The night before he was murdered in Memphis, Tennessee, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. warned us that violence was threatening our very existence.  If we are to confront this reality, there must come a deep joy which springs up in the face of hatred and injustice. The beauty is that this kind of joy exists within each and every one of us. Discovering it can be achieved in prayer along with contemplative practice and outreach. For it is in stillness and silence that the voice of God will direct our actions. 

Years ago, I was engaged in a whirlwind of activity with self-designed goals to have more…more of everything.  I thought that happiness could be found through obtaining lots of money and all the best material things it could provide.  I would do whatever was necessary to get it, often at the expense of anyone or anything standing in my path.  I was 'on the way up' and those left behind were regretfully collateral damage. 

This is not to say that I was a mean person.  On the contrary, I was jovial and popular.  And I wanted more of that too.  It was all intoxicating.  In fact, intoxication became part of the equation.  Cocaine and alcohol were perfect running mates as my personal wealth neared a million dollars just prior to my thirtieth birthday.  Then the bottom fell out and I lost all of the people and things I treasured so much. 

Surprisingly, it was during the following years of descent, desperation, and sadness that I discovered inner peace and joy. My path of personal poverty led me to a different kind of richness through centering prayer and contemplation I never imagined. Faith and hope were restored as God’s unconditional love and forgiveness washed over me. I came alive.

For the past four decades, my world has been filled with an inner joy founded in contemplation and action.  Not that there has been an absence of bumps and obstacles. I have had more than a few stumbles. But I have dedicated my life to what unceasingly makes me come alive.  My work with wounded kids and those who suffer from addiction has been my way of confronting suffering, injustice, and hatred.

We are all called to action in this chaotic world. It has never been more important for us to work for social, political, economic and environmental justice and peace. We have to come alive now. Our existence depends on it.